Break up
by Alis Volat Propris
Summary: Naruto has had enough. Because as much as he loved Sakura Chan, she was about as stupid as they come when it came to men.


AN: Because I haven't written a credible cute Naru Saku yet and damn it I freaking love them. So it was about time that I tried to write one that actually did the couple credit.

Naruto stroked her hair as one Haruno Sakura, head of the medical field and the hospital operator of Konoha sobbed on his orange pants after the untimely breakup of herself and her current boyfriend. His beloved orange pants were getting soaked but he supposed it was a small price to pay in regards to comforting his former teammate.

He and Sakura had been best friends since the bastard had left them. Sakura had come a long way…or so he thought. He could admit, he was little biased when it came to the pink haired kunoichi, who currently wailed on his knee. He handed her a tissue, running a comforting hand in circular motions mirroring the circle on the vest on her back. She hiccupped and turned, using his knee as her pillow. She curled, and her face nestled into his side on the couch.

She clutched the tissue and wiped wretchedly at her red and puffy eyes, as she hiccupped again. Naruto only tucked Sakura closer to him.

"I'm so sorry, Sakura chan" He told sincerely blue eyes gleaming in sorrow.

"I can't believe him." Sakura hiccupped for a third time as she glared daggers into his orange pants.

Naruto though sorry to see his former teammate in such a wreck emotionally couldn't help but count his blessings for his own sake. At least she wasn't mad at him, having suffered her wrath for his own blunders several pain invoking times over the years.

_You'd think she'd have learned her lesson with prodigies_ he thought with a sigh as he continued to stroke her hair and mutter soothing remarks to her.

She quieted under his touch, clutching his jacket, which he surrendered and wrapped around her. He had the small satisfaction of seeing her clutch it tighter to herself and he didn't miss the look of bliss as she closed her eyes in satisfaction breathing in the scent of it, of him.

Damn it. It was times like this that made it so _very_ hard to remember why he didn't just shoot it all to hell and kiss her. Then he remembered who'd broken her heart this time. He'd have to beat the utter shit out of Neji tomorrow. Another sigh. Tsunade Baa-chan would not be thrilled that he'd broken her favorite anbu captain. Of course it wasn't hard not to favor the Hyuuga prodigy over the Uchiha one. Neji never talked back. He shrugged to himself. She'd get over it.

He ignored the Kyuubi inside him who voiced the troublesome pink haired bitch was_ too_ much trouble, had always been, and continued to be a nuisance that he should take and make his already to save himself the trouble of it all. That or kill her. It was nothing new from his pointy eared compatriot and kyuubi hated to be ignored which Naruto was currently doing, so it was all mute and pointless.

Trying to convince the pink haired girl of his affections of those very sentiments he had held since he was a three year old had proved null and void over the years. She simply didn't believe him. Or worse she laughed it off, embarrassed. Or _even_ worse returned them telling him he was her _best_ friend. Oh how Naruto had grown to hate, to loathe with his entire being, that six lettered word over the years. Naruto didn't know how else to tell her, how else to communicate it so she would finally understand.

Naruto nearly snorted as he thought of the ridiculous irony of his situation. For how exceedingly freaking brilliant Sakura chan was when it came to medical jutsu or other factual knowledge she had all the common sense of a squirrel when it came to actual love. She was as dense as her chakra when she formed it to beat the bloody hell out of everything. Granted Naruto wasn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box or the greatest at expressing his feelings but there was only so much a boy…a man could take before simply falling into apathy, accepting things as they were. Naruto was her best friend. Why ruin it?

_Why not complete it? _He wondered to himself. Why not indeed?

_Because then it would finally put me out of my misery_ he thought sullenly.

No, these thoughts were very un-Naruto like. Should the pink haired girl of his dreams actually hear him voice these thoughts out loud she'd have beat him to a bloody pulp for being so negative and un like his normal optimistic stubborn self. He would worry her if he told her. And She would, as always, be right. Hadn't Jiraiya told him that chasing after woman was really the point of it all and not the actual relationship? Of course, his mentor had always been a little…odd when it came to the subject of women.

Naruto had always been left with the feeling that his mentor wrote of trysts with women because he would have been too bored in a real normal relationship. Where as a normal relationship was all Naruto had ever really wanted. But only with one pink haired kunoichi. Said Pink haired kunoichi, who could kill him with her pinky finger. Said pink haired kunoichi who could punch him through twelve walls in less than three seconds, with a little added pressure of those lovely creamy hands of hers and her perfect chakra control.

"Why is it that men always want one thing?" Sakura scowled, pulling the ramen lover out of his addled thoughts.

_BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS WANT THE WRONG ONE'S! _His mind practically screeched, but he let it slide with a deep breathe.

"I don't know, Sakura Chan" He replied instead, settling for the best diplomatic answer he could find.

Sakura snorted. "Here I was pouring my heart out to him, and all he wanted was a blow job." Sakura sneered.

Naruto winced. He would most _definitely_ have to maim Neji. And make sure that Sakura Chan didn't find out and wasn't the one to treat his entirely painful injuries the next day. It had nothing to do with the fact that he would have killed to be in Neji's place, any of their places. It had everything to do with following through what he had said to them; What he had told them before Sakura Chan had so willingly placed her fragile heart in their hands.

In his defense, this was simply the way things worked. They broke her heart and Naruto used their faces to wipe the training grounds with. He'd been more than honest with them and straight forward when it came to one particular medic nin and former teammate. That if they hurt her, he'd beat them black and blue, break every bone in their body, and put them in intensive care for a week. They were almost always his friends, but _nobody_ hurt his Sakura Chan, whether she acknowledged she was his personally or not. He would forever think of her that way.

After he'd brought Sasuke back, shortly therein he'd been forced to beat the holy shit out of him and put him in the I.C.U. under Hinata's careful administrations. The girl had tried to confess her feelings to him, but Naruto had cut her off. There had always and only been one girl for him, the pink haired girl he had to get back to comforting. She'd accepted it tearfully and promised to watch over the Uchiha for the next month of his rehabilitation. The two were now married with a set of twins on the way along with their newest first born whom Naruto was particularly fond of.

Next had come Kiba, who was, most assuredly, a rebound, and furthermore a bad choice for his poor heartbroken Sakura Chan. He had been the next victim as Naruto had snapped his spine and broke each of his fingers and toes. To his fortune, Akamaru hadn't interfered, knowing his owner had deserved it for cheating on Sakura Chan. Kiba was now happily involved with Hanabi, who never ceased to beat the offending dog man into submission when he did something the Hyuuga heiress didn't particularly appreciate. And Kiba actually liked being beaten by the pale eyed girl of his choice, so it worked out.

Sakura Chan had sworn off the strong types after that. Shikamaru didn't know what hit him when Sakura Chan had come on to him. Shikamaru had come to Naruto for advice on such a heady issue, and Naruto had warned him, but it hadn't helped. Everyone knew Shikamaru was helpless when it came to troublesome women. Only he had bit off more than he could proverbally chew when he and Sakura had started their fling. Sakura and Shika simply didn't mesh well from the start, though they suited each other intellectually. He hadn't beat Shika as hard as he should have, because Sakura had broken things off. Though it hadn't stopped her from sobbing her heart out over him and thus why Naruto had beaten him thoroughly still. Apparently the pineapple haired genius had harbored affections for his buxom blonde teammate who nursed him back to health and eventually after Ino stopped torturing him for hurting her best friend, the two dated and were now engaged.

It had been more of the same with Sai, whom Sakura had started with after getting horribly drunk from Shika and Ino's engagement party, pummeled after their breakup, had been doubly pummeled by Naruto himself because he knew Sakura Chan was delicate and _he_ knew, and had broken her heart anyways.

Then Lee, whom Sakura had felt enough pity for to finally agree to date, after his fifteen hundredth confession. Naruto had tried not to be bitter at his longtime rival and friend. After all for every time Lee had confessed to Sakura, Naruto had at least done double the time. To his credit Naruto had tried to overcome his overwhelming love of him teammate as she dated Lee.

Naruto began dating Ten Ten, having figured he was simply drawn to Kunoichi with the ability to pummel him senseless. He and Ten Ten had delicately broken it off early on, both of them acknowledging their love for someone else and the inability to get over it. He was glad he had dated Ten Ten and the two were still good friends. Sakura had finally grown fed up with Lee's eccentric tendencies. Lee, heartbroken had turned to Ten Ten for comfort and now the two were going steady.

Hell Sakura had even dated Yamato sensei who apparently had always harbored a secret crush on the petite petal haired medic nin and that had ended horribly. Yamato sensei had tried to use his giraffe technique to try and stop Naruto from beating him senseless, but it only worked on Kyuubi's rage, and Naruto had kicked his earth skilled ninja ass across Konoha because like Sai, Yamato also knew how sensitive Sakura Chan was.

When Neji had approached Sakura of his alleged interest, Sakura's spirits had lifted thinking this was it. It was the reason why Neji would be hurt the most. Nobody toyed with his Sakura Chan's emotions. Naruto hadn't liked the way their relationship had been going in the first place so he had a vendetta to settle with the Hyuuga prodigy.

"I think I'm going to give up" Sakura Chan confessed, wiping her tears.

"What?" Naruto asked, startled by her declaration.

"I'm going to give up on love. It's obvious" Sakura sniffled, sitting up.

"Eh?" Naruto scrambled trying to get mind around the statement she had just so willingly decared. Give. Up. On. Love. On. HIM!

"I mean I've dated most of the rookie nine, tried so many times to find real love. I don't think it exists?" She said, slightly confused by her own declaration

"W-what?" Naruto asked startled. "Sakura Chan.." Naruto began.

"Don't try to talk me out of it, Naruto, I'm completely serious this time" Sakura said as she stood up,

"Why?" Naruto squeaked out, too completely startled with her seriousness to really manage much more.

"Why? because obviously love doesn't exist, for me. All of my friends, hell even the boys I've dated have gone on to find their true loves. And what about me? I'm cursed, doomed. There isn't a single wonderful man in existence made for me and I think it's time I accepted that" Sakura said with finality.

"You idiot" Naruto practically snarled.

Sakura's eyes widened.

"What?" She asked.

"N-nothing…"Naruto paled. Shit. Had he just said what he thought he had said _out loud_?

_Baka, Baka, Baka!_ He berated himself.

"As I said I think I'm giving up on love. No _real_ man exists for me." Sakura said, wistfully.

"None that you'd give me the time of day anyway" Naruto muttered and clamped a hand over his mouth eyes widening in horror. What the hell was wrong with him? Oh gods! He looked to see if she had heard him this time.

"_What did you say_?" Sakura asked, pink eyebrow arching as she sat up.

"N-nothing, Sakura chan" He replied sweatdropping.

"No, you said _something_." She said green eyes narrowing as she placed her hands on her hips, glaring at him in her tank and his jacket on her shoulders.

Naruto _knew_ that look as well as he knew his own name. He was _going_ to get pummeled regardless and resigned himself to his fate. If he was going to get pummeled then Goddamn it, for once, he was going to earn it.

"I said, No one that you would give the time of day too anyways." Naruto said, stormy blue eyes meeting her green ones head on. Her eyes narrowed further.

"And just what's that supposed to mean? That I'm incapable of love?" Sakura scowled, getting up and throwing off his coat as she cracked her knuckles, jade eyes flaming.

"NO!" Naruto cried emphatically irritated that once again, she simply didn't _get _the point. "ARGHH! That has absolutely nothing to do with it and you're being stupid and dense and you _know_ it!"

"Then what do you mean Uzumaki Naruto? You're mocking my pain damn it!" Sakura said, choking on a sob.

Fuck. He hated it when she cried. He hated it more when _he_ was the cause of it. Shit shit shit! The anger abruptly deflated out of Naruto and he had her in his arms as she trembled, clutching his shirt, sniffling.

"It means that I've been standing right here, not two damn feet in front of you, for only your entire LIFE" Naruto scowled as he stroked her hair.

He didn't care what beatings he was going to get, what she was going to say. He was goddamn tired of being the other man. The best fucking friend. The guy she turned to when she got her heart broken by half assed jerks who didn't deserve her, didn't know the tip of the iceberg about her anyways.

"W-what?" Sakura gasped.

Naruto's eyes widened at her complete lack of _ability_ to comprehend his love. So he did the only thing he could think of left, the only thing he hadn't done to make her understand. He kissed her. By the gods, he fucking kissed her.

Pulling her against him before she could protest or fight him off, his lips met hers hard, and his tongue lined the entrance to those cherry lips which she opened, in shock. He promptly entered calculating how long he had before she beat him black and bloody red. He figured if he was going to get punted he might as well earn it properly and he was going to make _sure _she remembered _his_ kiss, damn it! His tongue massaged hers, one hand fisting in her short hair as the other fastened around her waist to bring her closer, prone against him.

And then she did something he completely didn't expect, couldn't possibly calculate in his random and completely unpredictable move that only _he_ could have made because he was Uzumaki Naruto, the most unpredictable ninja ever. She kissed him _back_, a small moan on her lips as her hands fisted in his unruly unkempt blonde hair and Naruto just about lost his goddamn mind.

"NO!" He cried, practically flinging her from him, as he fell back against the wall trembling.

It was a fucking dream, it was a hallucination, he was in a genjutsu and some fucking bastard was about to die for making him dream something so absolutely perfect. He was drunk. Something…anything but this.

"N-naruto?!" Sakura asked, startled by him as he trembled. She drew closer, hesitantly. She watched as he tried to break what he apparently thought was a genjutsu.

"Damn it." Naruto whimpered.

He wasn't in a genjutsu. Then he was in hell, anything but this reality because this wasn't actually possible. A world didn't exist where Haruno Sakura moaned _that _way because _he _had kissed her.

"Why haven't you beat me bloody into next week yet?" He asked, unable to meet her eyes as he trembled and swallowed. He licked his lips regretting it almost immediately because he could still taste her.

"W-what?" Sakura stuttered, staring stupidly at her teammate as if unhearing her words.

"You heard me" He said, blue eyes glaring challengingly into her own verdant eyes. Sakura exploded.

Her hands fisted into his shirt as she visibly shook him, practically flaming in her rage.

"You ramen frazzled _IDIOT_! Did it never occur to you that maybe I_ liked_ kissing you! _SHANNARO_!" She snarled as she shook him.

Naruto blinked, completely unfazed in spite of her deathly rage. "Y-you liked.." He couldn't finish as he collapsed against her eyes spinning in shock.

Rage fizzled as Sakura's concern rose. "Naruto!" She gasped, as she lowered him to the floor, hovering over him as she checked his pulse, his forehead, his eyes. He was in…shock?!

"Eh.." Naruto blinked, as he looked at the pink haired teammate hovering above him and half smiled.

"Did you say what I think you just said?" Naruto asked, practically beaming.

Sakura eyes narrowed.

Naruto flew through the wall of his living room happily as he still grinned, black eye and swollen cheek completely worth it in light of the fact that Sakura chan had just admitted out loud, to his very whisker cheeked face that she, one Haruno Sakura, Medic nin extrodinaire, former teammate, love of practically his entire life, had_ liked_ his kisses. He would even pay for the damages himself, giddily buzzed on such satisfactory knowledge. Sakura. Chan. Liked. His. Kisses. He practically sung it, the happy thoughts floating through his brain in supremely smug satisfaction.

"YOU IDIOT!" She snarled as she landed by him.

He only grinned at her from his place on the grass, placing his hands behind his head in utter bliss. That look startled her and she blinked and eyed what was left of his living room and flushed, though her chin jutted out as she refused to meet his eyes, settling for crossing her arms across her chest huffly.

"I love you." Naruto grinned, wincing only momentarily from the pain in his jaw. Even that pain couldn't keep him from smiling.

Sakura stared at him dumbfounded for a moment. She had just punched him through a wall…and he…

She shook her head.

"Baka" She said affectionately, healing his jaw, and his eye. Naruto trailed calloused fingers across her cheek.

"I mean it, Sakura Chan. I don't just love you as a friend, or as a teammate" He pleaded desperately hoping she wouldn't misunderstand for the millionth time.

Sakura only smiled, a bright smile one he had never seen on her face before her eyes filled with tears.

"I could tell, idiot" She replied.

"Really?" Naruto asked doubtfully. "You missed the memo the first hundred times" He told her, wincing as she helped him up.

She backhanded his head. "You never kissed me any of those times, _Idiot!_ How was I _supposed_ to tell."

Naruto sighed and decided to hell with the past. In the present he had just kissed the love of his life and she had kissed him back and moaned that sweet little sexy moan that he had only dared to dream about and she had admitted to _enjoying_ it to boot! And Naruto was inclined, in his smug satisfaction, to do it again, as he brought her close.


End file.
